When Does Marital Counseling Help? (January 1996)
As a marriage counselor, what do I look for to indicate whether counseling will be
successful? Here are some observations I've made over the years.
When a spouse comes alone. Some couples prefer to see the counse
Persistent Marital Conflict? Quit The Battle - Get Into Counseling (February 2011)
This article addresses the communication problems that lead to persistent marital conflict. Good communication techniques are not easliy learned under stressful conditions. Counseling may be an answer to break up the pattern of repetitive and destructive arguments.
Drop The Conflict, Get Into Counseling (June 1999)
Do you feel stuck in a marriage with poor communication habits? Do you have too many
arguments that go nowhere and stir up with hostility and hurt feelings? Do you start off
with the best intentions only to have your conversations deteriorate into anger, retorts,
withdrawal, and frustration?
You have worked to solve these problems on your own. Recognize that your best efforts
aren't good enough. Goodness knows how many times and different ways you've tried to get
to the bottom of your conflicts.
Feeling Stuck With Marriage Problems? (July 2006)
This article describes how couples can be constructive by choosing to seek out marital counseling and putting a hold on trying to resolve their differences until they receive guidance. Suggestions are made on how to create goodwill so you both feel like trying when you get to the counselor's office.
Going For Counseling Is Both Manly And Courageous (March 2003)
This article points out how going for counseling is a courageous act that requires a recognition of the importance of solving rahter than avoiding problems. Men who seek out counseling and gain information about difficult interpersonal problems show they are willing to learn and apply new concepts into their lives.
Therapy May Be Hazardous To Your Marital Health (July 2003)
This article summarizes the thoughts of William Doherty on how people who enter individual counseling while experiencing marriage problems find the experience destabilizing for their marriage. One situation is when a person goes to marriage counseling and receives therapy from an untrained or ineffective counselor. Another situation arises when people with marriage probems seek individual therapy. The relationship lends itself to a one-sided perspective of the marriage without addressing the marriage from a systemic point of view.
Putting An Affair In The Past (March 1995)
How does a couple navigate through the turbulence of hurt and anger after an affair has
been discovered? How can an affair be put in the past?
Step one: No third party. Unless the third party is physically and em
How Counseling Helps Marital Communications (January 1996)
As a marriage counselor, I have seen many situations where couples enter counseling in
a state of crisis. There is great pain and ambivalence for both partners as they seek to
communicate and reconcile.
One goal of counseling is to dev
When Solving Problems: Pay Attention (February 1995)
After two or three marriage counseling sessions I can tell how much real change can
occur in a relationship. The cues don't relate to the couple's problems, but to the
feelings generated when they talk to each other.
I notice their att