VI. Relationships

"Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it doth singe yourself." -Shakespeare - Henry VIII.

Anger does much more harm that we realize. Our judgment fails. We badly underestimate the impact that anger can have on a close relationship. Frequent experiences of intense anger stimulate further anger in our self and others.

"Once anger begins to take control of the mind, it calls just what it does cruelly." - St. Gregory the Great

"Con ...

I am disappointed. At the time I am writing this, it is in the immediate aftermath of Clinton’s admission that he had an inappropriate relationship with a former White House intern.

President Clinton has performed a service for our country, albeit a negative one, of being an example of what not to do. He has given our country a great lesson in sex education and integrity. Parents and children have been forced to discuss his behavior and what it means. We have gained ten le ...

Romance is an escape from reality. Marriage is about reality, the reality of two imperfect, incomplete people blending two sets of traditions into a compatible whole. Marriage is about a promise solemnly made by you and sanctioned by God. You promise that you will remain together, be faithful to one another and work through whatever difficulties life and differences present.

Relationships are built on trust. Honesty precedes trust. Trust precedes intimacy. An affair creates a s ...

- In the United States, the number of divorces each year is almost half the number of new marriages and one million children experience their parents' divorce. It is projected that between 50 percent and 60 percent of children born in the 1990s will live, at some point, in single parent families.

- Seventy-five percent of men and 66 percent of women eventually remarry. Step families make up approximately 17 percent of all two-parent families with children less than 18 years ...

Should parents stay together in an unhappy, conflict-ridden marriage for the sake of the children? Conflict is the issue - not divorce - whether it is in intact families or following divorce. Children from high conflict families have more adjustment problems than children from divorced families or low conflict, non-divorced families.

Divorce improves the adjustment of children removed from contentious marriages. In unhappy marriages if conflict is not obvious to the child ...

Recognize this "good ole boy?" Jake is charming, quick with a joke, the last of the big time spenders, and an all around good guy. He has the gift of gab. He will give you the shirt off his back. He makes stupid bets. He drinks too much.

The guy needs attention and approval from others too much. He loves being the center of attention. Everyone loves him. Everyone wants a piece of him.

This good ole boy has a hard time saying no. He wants to please every ...

One "headline" speaker at a "Smart marriages-Happy marriages" conference I attended in Washington, D.C. this summer was psychologist John Gottman. He spoke about his Marriage Lab research program at the University of Washington. His lab found that we can almost predict divorce if there is:

1. Too much conflict. If there are too many negative interactions as compared to the number of positive interactions divorce is near. Examples of negative interactio ...

How successful do you think this couple will be in raising children? They don't understand each other or cooperate well when it comes to parenting. One parent has formed an alliance with the children while the other has only a marginal relationship. Finally, parenting in the family is frequently subject to the interference of an outsider.

Obviously, this situation is not good. However, this is the starting point for a typical stepfamily. They are at the beginning of a long and a ...

Suppose I told you that a certain behavior, which you believe is a stepping stone to marriage, actually results in only a slightly better than 50 percent chance of marriage. Or that same behavior actually raises your chances of divorce by 50 percent. Be honest, if you were interested in a successful marriage, you would have to admit that behavior is a stupid thing to do. Right?

That behavior is cohabitation. Half of all young adults getting married have had a living together ar ...