Dr. Val FarmerDr.Val
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Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships

Family Breakup: Comparison Between The United States And Sweden

July 10, 2007

Married parents provide the best home for children. A study by the Urban Institute in 1999 showed that children benefit most from growing up in a home with their own parents. This was better than any other household arrangement. It was also more influential than the rate of poverty or behavioral standards.

Boys without fathers in the home are many more times as likely to get in trouble with the law while girls without a father in the home are five times more likely to be promiscuous. Children from single parent families have negative life outcomes at two to three times the rates of married, two parent families. Children in step families fare no better than single parent families.

In the U.S. the percentage of children living apart from their biological children has more than doubled since 1960 from 17 percent to 37 percent. Divorce, births to unwed mothers and unmarried cohabitation account for the majority of this rise.

Children who grow up with cohabiting couples have poor life outcomes compared to those growing up with married couples. Cohabiting couples have higher rates of breakup, lower household incomes and higher levels of domestic violence and child abuse than married couples.

Comparisons between the U.S. and Sweden. In a 2005 study, the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University compared marriage and family life in Sweden and in the United States. They found that the United States had the lowest rate in the world among western developed countries when it came to children under 18 living with their biological parents - 63 percent. Sweden has the second lowest rate at 73 percent. If the goal of society is for children to grow up with their own parents, then the U.S. and Sweden are both failing badly.

In the U.S. more people marry but the divorce rates are high. Sweden has the lowest marriage rate in the world but the divorce rates are slightly less than the U.S. Only 60 percent of Swedish women will "ever marry" while 85 percent of U.S. women marry. Twenty eight percent of Swedish couples are cohabiting while only 8 percent of U.S. couples are cohabiting. By counting divorce rates, cohabiting and married couples together, the total family breakup rate for the U.S. and Sweden is quite similar.

The U.S. is highly libertarian, ethnically diverse and strongly religious. Sweden is highly communitarian, ethnically homogenous and strongly secular. Sweden has a strong public sector and high taxes while the U.S. has less government and lower taxes.

Why is there a lower rate of marriage in Sweden? There is little religious pressure for marriage and no cultural stigma against cohabitation. There are strong feminist concerns with patriarchy and oppression. The political left wing feels strong families impede full equality through inherited nobility, wealth and privilege.

Fifty-six percent of all children are born outside of marriage. In Sweden, 90 percent of these births are to biological parents who are cohabiting compared to only 40 percent in the U.S. The reason for the low percent is

that the majority of out-of wedlock births in the U.S. are to teenage mothers who are not cohabiting.

In Sweden all benefits accrue to individuals. There are no spousal health benefits and no joint taxation for married couples. After childbirth, mothers are provided one year off from their job at 80 percent or more of their salary and an additional six months at reduced salary. All Swedish moms receive a child allowance from the government regardless of income. Additional allowances for housing take income into account. Through its tax and benefit policies and secularized culture, Sweden undermines marriage and reinforces non-marital cohabitation.

Swedish culture has a greater emphasis on leisure time, nature and outdoors, conflict aversion, simplicity, social conformity, and a soft work ethic. This adds up to more time for regular family activities and more time for contact between adults and children.

In spite of child friendly policies, Sweden has a high rate of couple breakup despite being stable, homogeneous and egalitarian. Married and cohabiting couples don’t have the incentives of economic dependence, legal definitions, religious sentiments and family pressures to hold them together. What is left? Their relationships depend primarily on the sometimes fickle and unstable bond of affection to hold them together.

Root cause. It is not culture, politics or economics that is causing the problem of family breakup. What both countries share in common is modernity - the growth of individualism, the pursuit of personal autonomy and self-interest that supplant bonded relationships. The goal of personal happiness and fulfillment may be at cross purposes with the affectional bond in the relationship, and at times, work against it.

In Sweden, political forces need to recognize the anti-marriage influences of ideology and social policy. Welfare state policies meant to cushion the impact of family breakup also contribute to it.

In the U.S., the market economy and personal liberty don’t help us. The wealthier we become, the more choices we have and the weaker the family becomes. We need to insulate marriage and families from the self-interest fueled by a market driven economy and the coarsening of popular culture by our pervasive media driven entertainment industry.

It means being almost counter cultural. By giving marriage and children the time and energy they deserve, we are putting employment in proper perspective, being less consumer driven, living simpler lives, and being less entertainment oriented. These are tough choices for an affluent society like ours.