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Dr. Val Farmer | ||
| Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships | |||
II. Farming and MarriageLogin
ArticlesReaders Give More Advice To Montana Farm Woman (June 1998)
A Montana woman wrote about giving up her city career to marry a farmer. She felt she didn’t have challenging work in her life and was shut out from the family farming operation. Here are some more responses. From South Dakota. A woman wrote about her family’s experience of moving back to a family farm. "I can actually thank the Lord for this because I absolutely HATED the whole experience and we would have never had gotten out of there if they (her brothe ... Is Val Farmer Guilty Of Male Bashing? (July 1998)
In my graduation advice column I included a couple of statements directed at young men: "If she's angry, she's right," and, "Never strike a woman." I received this response. Your advice to graduates finally goaded me to write and complain about your male bashing. There is a long string in your columns of a bias against men in both your advice and catering to some women's endless whining. As it happens, the majority of intersex abuse is initiated ... With Empty Nest, One More Bird Flies Away (January 1998)
Recently I have encountered several farmers in their 5Os and 60s who have been left by their wives. These women finally threw up their hands and wanted out. I have met wives in the throes of deciding how to preserve their mental health because of poor marriages. Their husbands have refused to come with them for counseling. At this age, the nest is empty. The duties and responsibilities of mothering are largely over. The satisfaction of positive relationships with their children ... Montana Farm Woman Feels Useless, Isolated, Stupid (March 1998)
Dear, Dr. Farmer, I sold my business, home and left family and friends in hopes to marry a good man and a farmer. I don't know if the decision I made was a stupid mid-life crisis decision. I am interested to know if there are other women out there that have done the same thing and now find it was a bad mistake. It was my understanding from the start that I would use my business skills to help make the farm better, bigger and more profitable. This has not come ab ... Readers Respond To Isolated Montana Farm Woman's Letter (May 1998)
I received several responses to the letter written by the Montana farm woman who described her feelings of frustration at not having challenging work in her life. She also felt shut out of the family farming operation. I am including some of the advice in this column. I will have another column with more responses. From Oregon. "We decided that I would quit work. It was a very hard decision as I had worked all my adult life except for brief passages of time. Who an ... Farm Women React To Financial Stress (April 1998)
For the past five years there has been wet weather - way too wet for the traditional crops grown in northwestern Minnesota and parts of eastern and northeastern North Dakota. The wheat crops have had low yields, been diseased and bring low prices. The winter of 1997 was a devastating. Even more devastating were the summer rains of late June and early July. For many farm families, this represented the last blow in a valiant battle against incredible forces beyond their control ... Off Farm Work Poses Marital Problems (October 1998)
In the PBS documentary, "The Farmers Wife's," Darrel and Juanita Buschkoetter, work through the dilemma of working off the farm to generate enough money to live and to keep the farm. First Darrel works in a manufacturing job and later for another farmer. Juanita tries a nursing home, cleaning houses and finally goes back to college to get a degree. The off farm work takes a toll on their marriage and forces them to make hard adjustments. Here are some quotations from ... Cowboys Don't Cry And They Don't Talk Either (June 1997)
I recently gave several presentations on stress and coping in the ranch country of Northwestern and North Central South Dakota. These ranchers were anything but jolly. They had undergone the worst winter in their memory. They faced a se Going Home From A Stressful Job (March 1997)
In today's time pressured world of two income families, how do families manage to find time and energy for their relationships? How do you shift gears from an aggressive, high powered work environment to the nurturing world of relationships and Unkind Farmers (September 1997)
Back in the days when I was a regular contributor to the Farm Wife News magazine, the editor once proposed a column idea on, "Why farmers are so unkind." She had been getting feedback from her readers about lack of respect and consider |
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