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Dr. Val Farmer | ||
Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships | |||
ForgivenessMany Forms Of Forgiveness (October 2010) This article describes the conditions that need to be met before people can forgive. Different kinds of forgiveness are delineated. What Do You Do When There Is No Apology? (April 2005) The article describes middle ground between forgiveness and not forgiving. It is called acceptance. This give the offended party a way of staying in a relationship without the offender doing their part to restore the relationship. Forgiveness Is A Gift; Trust Is Earned (October 2007) This article describes the importance of forgiveness, not only for the offender but for the well-being of the victim as well. The difference between forgiveness and trust is also explained. Putting The Past In The Past (October 2000) this article describes how hurtful events from the past can be emotionally resolved if the offender takes steps to acknowledge the hurt and pain caused in with appropriate empathy and understanding, apologizes in a heart-felt manner, commits to changing the behavior and then lives up to the changes promised. How Does Trust Come Back After An Affair? (April 2006) This article describes the basic elements that are necessary to rebuild trust after a major betrayal such as an affair. What Makes A Good Enough Apology? (March 2005) The article describes the elements of an apology that really can resolve an emotional wound or trauma. Many apologies are too short and inadquate to help the offended party let go of the offense. How Many Chances Do I Give Him? (February 2003) This article describes the process of healing a marriage after a spouse re-engages the affair partner after he or she has promised that the relationship was over. These false starts to fidelity and truth take a huge toll on the victim who is attempting to reconcile and is exposed to more lies and deception. How To Forgive An Affair (July 2000) This column details the process by which betrayed partners can learn to trust and forgive a truly repentant partner. WHAT MAKES A GOOD ENOUGH APOLOGY? People think they have apologized
with a brief, “I’m sorry!” and expect that it counts. Then they wondered why
the matter persists as a deep hurt that won’t go away. The problem was with
their apology. It wasn’t long or deep enough. It didn’t address what the victim
needed to hear. Healing Emotional Wounds In Marriage (December 2007)
This article describes the process that couples need to go through to resolve past hurts and wounds inflicted in their marriage. Many of these hurts linger unresolved and interfere with trust and intimacy until they are addressed. |
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