Leave A Legacy Of Love

There he is. A farmer surrounded by his work. It is just outside the door beckoning him. The work comes first. It is bread on the table, a roof over their heads and money to pay the bills.

Armed with knowledge about what the farm needs, his logic is persuasive, and, in his opinion, irrefutable. So he thinks. There is pride in his heart, perfection in his eyes, intensity in his thoughts and impatience in his stride. The formula for success is clear, as if etched in stone - hard work. It doesn’t hurt his standing in the community either.

There she is. A farmer's wife becoming desperate. She knows it doesn't have to be this way. Something is wrong. To her, her husband's work style is an obsessive selfish indulgence - an escape from family responsibility - an escape from her.

Her plaintive pleas fall on deaf ears. "Spend time with us. The family needs you. I need you. Talk to me. Do something with me. Pay attention to me. Show me you care."

To him, she obviously doesn't understand. Work is as important and as necessary as breathing. The family's survival and happiness depend on it. He escapes her pleas and then her wrath by throwing himself into that which he does understand - his work.

There they are. A farm couple at odds over what is important about life. The distances between them widen, barriers are erected, seeds of discontent are sown and the harvest is bitter.

The farmer is correct in that progress comes by setting standards and goals, scheduling work, performing routine duties and meeting the obligations of each day. It evokes a spiritual, creative release of his energy. The results are observable.

The farmer’s wife is correct in that progress comes by devoting time and energy to important things. Marriage, children, social, leisure and spiritual outlets all complement the duties of work. These, too, are obligations to be met. The results are unobservable - except as they bear fruit in the passage of years through lasting bonds of love and commitment. It is farming the soul as well as the soil.

Getting through. The wife's arguments on emotional grounds get nowhere. To her it is self-evident that family comes ahead of the farm in the bigger scheme of things. Of course she knows there are times when personal and family concerns takes a back seat to weather-sensitive farming decisions.

To try to break through his logic and single-minded devotion to farming, she tries to argue by explaining how loving relationships can enhance success in farming.

Time off improves the work. Working smart, not hard, is often the key to greater success. The power of creative response to challenges and problems depends on gathering information from various sources and combining them in new and unique ways.

Time needs to be set aside for learning new things, for exploration, for experimentation and for reflection about the direction and goals of the operation. Time needs to be set aside for changing pace, getting away, meeting new people, reading, developing new contacts, attending conferences, even for thinking and resting.

All this renews energy and develops a storehouse of experiences to draw on when a creative response is needed. "Working harder" is more of an escape than a way of attacking the problem.

Putting people first improves the work. The family's motivation and commitment is stronger when management and decision-making is shared. By welcoming input and being influenced by it, the husband opens the door for his wife and children to become management assets. They are encouraged to take and share a management perspective in viewing the well-being of the operation. Two or more heads are better than one.

The work also moves forward when the father puts training and development of the children as his top priority. When he teaches in a loving way and develops their talents and skills, he prepares them to take responsibility and share the workload.

Judgment is developed when it is exercised. For long term goals, it is easier to teach then to do it alone.

Making the farm a fun place. Work itself should be perceived as fun - something challenging and enjoyable. Some jobs can and should be engrossing as people get lost in the flow of being engaged in something immensely satisfying.

Family time, playtime, light-hearted humor, playfulness, vacations and family celebrations all add to the memories and fondness for farm life. Work hard - play hard. Play either gives meaning to the work or serves as a counterpoint to it.

The most important work. Spiritual pursuits also give perspective and meaning to farming. They put worship, compassion, and personal character on a par with work and economic success. What people believe, how they behave, how they treat others, and how the children turn out as loving human beings and as parents someday are more important than farming success.

Farmers can leave a legacy of both love and success. Financial goals of the operation are most readily achieved when there is a family atmosphere of love, cooperation and effective use of human resources and talents available.

For farmers, it means that their most important work is within the walls of the farm house. When he does that work well, the other work benefits too. Seeds of love and kindness are sown, happiness blooms and the harvest is sweet.