Looking Out For Other's Good Name

Adding insult to injury. In the free-wheeling political season we’ve just endured, we were subjected to more than the usual vitriolic attacks and disparaging characterizations. To win, politicians go for the dirt, the mud-slinging and the political jugular. This activity is dignified by the term "negative campaigning."

Bashing is another term we use to describe rude and destructive attacks. According to the dictionary, to bash is to strike a heavy, crushing blow. Both sides use innuendo, rumors or actual past misconduct to discredit their opponents. Every uttered statement and vote is examined for defect or inconsistency. It goes beyond the public record.

The private lives of politicians - their youth, their careers, their marriages, their children, their flaws - are subject to scrutiny. It is justified as the "character" issue.

"Fate never wounds more deeply the generous heart, that when a blockhead’s insult points the dart." -Samuel Johnson

Who among us could stand up to that kind of unrelenting scrutiny? Or would want to? How many of the good and honorable people elected to high office have private regrets about the public service they perform? How many privately feel, "I want my life back," when their daily lives are filled with demanding schedules and the constant glare of media attention?

"A fair reputation is a plant delicate in its nature, and by no means rapid in its growth. It will not shoot up in the night, like the gourd of the prophet, but like the gourd, it may perish in the night." - Jeremy Taylor

The media gives air time and space to publish or broadcast the sordid and the sensational. Sensationalism boosts ratings and sells copy. In the name of reporting the news, the media bombards us with graphic accounts of human misconduct, greed, violence and sexual crimes. Insulting remarks between business, political and athletic opponents spice up the news.

"There are two modes of establishing our reputation: to be praised by honest men, and to be abused by rogues. It is best, however to secure the former, because it will be invariably accompanied by the latter." - Caleb Colton

Actual injuries can be atoned for and forgiven. Insults and disrespectful judgments are more pernicious. They attack and lower self-esteem to the point where the victim struggles to disbelieve the accusations.

"The greater part of mankind are more sensitive to contemptuous language than to unjust acts; they can less easily bear insult than wrong." - Plutarch

How much bashing do we do? How willing are we to bash a neighbor, a family member, a public servant, a country or another race?

Protecting instead of harming. An antidote for bashing is charity; not the charity of giving to the poor, but the charity with which we treat each other's good name.

"He that tears away another’s good name tears his flesh from his bones, and by letting him live gives him only a cruel opportunity of feeling his misery, of burying his better part and surviving himself." - Robert South

Marvin J. Ashton, a religious leader, gave the following commentary: "Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet.

"Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other. None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already aware of the areas in which we are weak.

"What each of us need is family, friends, and employers who support us, who have patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we're trying the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses.

"What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other?

"... If we could look into each other's hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us face, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care."

Giving the benefit of doubt. I hope we can, both privately and publicly, refrain from bashing - to be generous in our praise and reluctant in our impulse to criticize. There is more than one point of view. Nobody is perfect. We can communicate with care. The slanderous or insulting comment doesn't aid our cause. Let's be careful with each other's reputations. Let's leave unsaid the wrong thing in the tempting moment.

"The two most precious things this side of the grave are our reputation and our life. But it is to be lamented that the most contemptible whisper can deprive us of the one, and the weakest weapon of the other. A wise man, therefore will be more anxious to deserve a fair name than to possess it, and this will teach him so to live, as not to be afraid to die." - Caleb Colton