The Armor Of Grief

by Brenda Houts

Do you remember reading about the suit of armor that used to be worn into battle? I read some place that the suit alone weighed 100 lbs. and then they added the shield and sword.

Now you did not just decided to wear one of these suits, you worked towards it, each day as a young person the suit would be worn for awhile until finally you could go into battle and carry the weight and swing the sword.

I think grief is like that suit of armor. When you hear your loved one has died that suit of armor falls down onto your shoulders. You hold that shield in front of you and you brandish the sword around. You swing that sword trying to fight off the reality of your loss. You try to take action. Any flailing useless action. No! No! It can't be.

Then eventually you lay down the sword but you keep the shield in front of you, and whenever things hurt too much you hold that shield up to protect yourself. But as time goes by you can lay the shield down.

And you grow stronger, and you can stand up and walk for a long way with that suit of armor on sometimes you almost don't know it is there. This is because you have gotten strong enough to carry the weight.

You can stand up, hold your head up, put your shoulders back. Oh yes you are carrying the weight of grief not because you are done with the suit of armor but because you have renewed your strength and have become strong enough to live again.