Dr. Val FarmerDr.Val
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Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships

Being Smart About Christmas Spending

December 14, 2009

So Christmas is here and you don't want to go into debt. You know that sinking depressed feeling in January and February when you have to dig yourself out of a major hole. Christmas doesn't seem as much fun then. Buy now, pay later - through the teeth. Some people actually dread the holiday season and the pressure it brings.

Here are some buying tips.

- Buy year around. Look for bargains and sale items. A bargain in June may be the perfect gift and beats the prices during the Christmas rush. Shop sales. Think Christmas in July. It will also spread out the expense. Great advice in December, right? Oh well, there is next year.

- Be smart about credit cards. Don’t buy presents on credit cards if you can’t pay off the amount before the next billing dates. If you don’t pay off the debt, the credit card company has you exactly where it wants you - paying their exorbitant interest charges.

- When in doubt, don't. You'll hate yourself in the morning. I should say, when the bills come due. Use control now. The Christmas feeling will be gone soon and you'll be feeling the pressure long after the kids have forgotten Christmas morning.

- Make a budget for Christmas and live within it. Christmas gifts, activities and travel need to fit within your monthly and yearly budgets. If you don’t have a budget, you are a sitting duck at the holidays for overspending.

How to keep gift-giving in perspective. Now that you've had the EZ 101 course on debt control, here how to handle the gift giving with the kids. Christmas is for kids, isn't it? You don’t want you or your children feeling deprived as a result of the onslaught of commercialism at Christmas.

How can you be conservative without feeling poor? How can you ease your way through the holidays without incurring a ton of new debt and still maintain the feeling of specialness and excitement?

1. Less can mean more. It is tempting to give too much to your children. It happens to almost every family who can come close to affording it. Gifts lose their meaning if they are too many or too expensive. Children can be bored in the midst of plenty. One or two choice well-selected gifts can make a memory or a bond.

Find out what the kids want, really want, and buy one or two main gifts. Keep asking until you've figured out something you can afford. A lot of gifts that aren’t perfect won't fill the bill nearly as well as one that is perfect. Start early in casual conversations and you’ll know.

Don’t buy a lot of expensive gifts during plush years. You create expectations you may not be able to meet down the road. Keep Christmas simple and you won't have kids crying, "Is that all?"

2. Don’t make a big deal of Santa Claus. Don’t overemphasize Santa and the gift-giving part of Christmas. That doesn't mean you have to fight it either. Celebrate your religious traditions. Put the focus on the

meaning of the holidays that goes beyond gift-giving.

3. Gifts that keep on giving. In choosing gifts, you can steer the child toward something you value and something you will end up spending money on anyway. Gifts have great power to influence. Figure out your values and put your money there. Gifts of lessons that develop talents - music, karate, gymnastics - can introduce children to something special.

4. Start the tradition of the kids buying for each other. It means a lot more when they sacrifice and do it with their own money. And there will be more presents under the tree.

5. Helping others at Christmas. This could be through projects, baking, making gifts, singing, or whatever. Making someone else feel good takes the spotlight off the acquisitive aspect of Christmas. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about, the giving instead of the receiving?

6. Play together. Put a lot of energy into activities like having fun, doing things together, and playing games. Kids remember the fun and togetherness a lot longer than gifts. The more Christmas traditions you have, there will be less focus on gift-giving.

What kind of activities? Christmas caroling, puzzle building, going to the hills for a Christmas tree, baking and delivering bread or cookies, visiting a nursing home, building a snowman or a fort, decorating the tree as a family, surprising another family with nonsense gifts or "secret santa" gifts before Christmas.

7. Make your Christmas gifts. They are from the heart and someday will be remembered and cherished a lot longer than store bought items. Make your gift a labor of love.

8. Your attitude makes a difference. The kids won't be as likely to feel deprived if you don't. Get rid of the guilt and enjoy Christmas and the kids won't pick up on the fact that your Christmas is any less than it ought to be.

If you need to, explain how you are trying to avoid problems and debt for the family. Let them be a partner with you in how to make Christmas enjoyable for the rest of the family.

Merry Christmas and have a happy January and February too.