When Should Children Come Back To Farm

How do you bring the next generation of farmers and ranchers back into the operation in a way that ensures maximum opportunity for success? Here are a few guidelines to consider.

1. When you are needed. The best time to bring young people into a family farm or ranch operation is when their addition fulfills a real business need, adds to profitability and the enterprise income can support the income needs of the new workers. The bottom line needs to make sense.

The operation should have more than enough meaningful work for everyone to do. Mistakes are made when work is created or when families pretend there is a need when, in actuality, things are going well.

If there isn’t enough real work to do, there will be turf battles, judgments and criticism. When people are busy doing what they have to do, there isn’t spare time to look over each other’s shoulders and find fault.

In the meantime, young people should invest themselves in education and training experiences that builds their confidence, skills and self-esteem. Moreover, this additional training should focus on future identified needs for when the farm or ranch could use specialized support or possible expansion into related enterprises.

The contributions made because of specialized knowledge and skills will command respect and be immediately valued by other family members. If a young farmer or rancher comes back showing interest and talent in areas where Dad or a sibling is already strong and competent, this will lead to more conflict, competition and fewer opportunities for growth.

2. When you are mature. The timing of the return should also include enough time for the young person to gain maturity, become socially independent and defined, and to be able to engage his parents in a give-and-take adult relationship. Unresolved adolescent hostility, defensiveness, entitlement, or dependency lead to relationship problems.

These maturing experiences include living on one’s own, working for someone else, taking personal responsibility managing clothes, food, living quarters and finances, and developing socially through friendships, dating and recreation. These experiences - including travel, secondary interests and success in other environments besides farming - will provide a foundation for marriage, social life and balance to life.

The daily experiences of working together should be fun, pleasant and respectful. Personality or communication problems such as addictions, temper outbursts, negativity, disrespectful judgments, poor listening, defensiveness, and lack of reliability due to poor self-discipline should be worked through before coming back to a family business. These unresolved issues will create morale problems for family members who count on and relate to each other.

3. When Dad is ready. Dad’s willingness to delegate, train and share management responsibilities is a key to future growth. If his personality is overbearing, controlling, driven and critical, then the opportunities for

personal growth and decision-making will be squashed. A son’s and father’s emotional reactivity will lead to repeated clashes and make the situation untenable in the long term.

The time when fathers moderate their intensity and make changes is when they need the help. If your past history is one of clashes, this should be discussed and resolved before coming back.

A son may be "used to it" or willing to put up with an abusive or controlling relationship in order to farm but the daughter-in-law won’t appreciate the impact on her husband and may agitate and rebel against the status quo.

4. When there is a system for resolving conflicts. Ongoing issues surrounding goals, methods, strategic planning, coordination, time off, remuneration, financial management, fairness and so forth need to be resolved on an ongoing basis through family business meetings.

Conflict, which is valuable to the business, can be channeled and managed productively while keeping the family relationships and gatherings harmonious and positive. In-laws should be included and their voices heard and respected.

Too many times problem avoidance or past unresolved hurtful incidents smolder into resentments. Rifts in the family can be prevented through regular open communication.

5. When there is trust and commitment between family members. Eventually, after testing family relationships for a reasonable period of time, parents should be willing to commit to financial arrangements and estate plans that provide fairness for the families who choose to be business partners with them.

This topic doesn’t need to be brought up in the first few years of farming together but does need to be talked through once it is obvious the partnership will work.

6. When splitting up is planned once cousins join the business. Under the right circumstances, farming with siblings and in-laws can be a viable and rewarding experience. However, the differences in each family’s goals will magnified when cousins reach an age where they can join the family operation.

Age differences, gender, education and experience levels will require each family to manage their personal business assets to match their peculiar family circumstance. Also direction and supervision may be better applied by one’s own family once nephews or nieces take on significant and differing responsibilities.

There should be plans to split the business into separate and independent units so that cousins will not be expected to farm together. Plans for separate ownership of land, machinery and development of shops, business offices, grain storage, etc. should anticipate this time. There can still be ways of cooperating without linking cousins as future business partners to the advantage or disadvantage of each other.