Why Fathers Matter?

Fathers can make a big difference in the lives of their children. Here are how fathers can contribute to the development of their children.

1. Fathers nurture, love and meet emotional needs. Fathers have an opportunity to experience the rich emotional experience of giving and sharing in a lifelong bond with their children. Fatherly attention, caring, affection, interest, encouragement and love for children supplement and complement the devotion and love mothers bring to parenting. This blessing and experience of nurturing children changes and deepens the emotional life of men as it blesses the lives of their children.

There is great power in love and service. There is power in the bond they creates. Love and acceptance from birth on develop feelings of self-worth and security that can last a lifetime.

There is power in the role modeling for sons on how to be an expressive, loving male. There is great power for daughters as they receive attention and see the validation of their worth in the eyes of their fathers.

2. Fathers teach about relationships. A father shows both his sons and daughters how a man can love a woman by being a role model of a loving husband. He shows this by being affectionate, kind and generous, serving her and treating her with dignity, respect, and equality - and by being a full partner with her in responding to the needs and challenges of life.

Children will learn more about how to be an outstanding spouse and parent of their own future families by observing the loving and cooperative interactions of their parents than by any other means. Daughters learn the basics of what to expect in a man as a future husband and how a loving father can and should act. They will expect kindness and love. Boys learn about fathering from the blueprint of their own relationship with their father and how he shows respect and kindness to women and girls.

Great fathers involve themselves meaningfully and actively in their children’s lives. They connect through sharing activities, recreation and play. Fathers and sons may find a wide range of activities to enjoy together that appeal to their masculine interests and skills.

Fathers need to be equally attentive to their daughters and their needs. Fathers of daughters need to extend themselves to foster opportunities for connection with their daughters and to care about their world.

By keeping the lines of communication open, fathers stay involved and can offer needed support and guidance at crucial times in their children’s lives.

Positive communication and problem solving between fathers and children also teaches about flexibility, negotiations, and self-control. These same conflict resolution skills modeled in this relationship will be mirrored by children in their future relationships in their own families within a few short years.

3. Fathers teach values, beliefs and skills. Fathers prepare their children for mastery in the world by

sharing their knowledge, skills and perspectives about life. Children need to be taught who they are, how to make sense of the world and what is their place in the family and community. Fathers who live with purpose, industriousness, faith, goodness and hope will pass on their steadiness, conviction and determination to persevere under adverse circumstances.

Fathers understand the necessity of preparing children to take risks, to push themselves, to be competitive, to be courageous, and to measure up to demands. Fathers teach responsibility and accountability. A father’s strength and willingness to be an authority figure helps teach limits and consequences to actions in the home.

Fathers who have high expectations of themselves and their children foreshadow what they believe their children will need in terms of work ethic, initiative and independence. Mothers and fathers balance each other in providing a safe haven of love and security while encouraging the need to venture out into unexplored territory.

4. Fathers know how to play. Many fathers are good at playing with young children. They enjoy it and so do the children. The mutual enjoyment that comes through mutual play builds the bond between them.

Children learn through play. Active play is an important part of their development. When fathers play with their young children, they are doing what they do best. When fathers have a sense of humor, are playful and fun to be around, it brings a sense of fun, relaxation and proportion to family life and serves as an antidote to stress and setbacks.

This sense of playfulness is extended into sports, high risk adventure, vacations, and outdoor experiences.

Through rough play and exposure to hardship, fathers teach toughness and coping skills when children might have to deal with the unexpected or unpleasant. Children learn not to be complainers, excessive worriers or break down under pressure.

5. Fathers are stewards in protecting and providing for the family. Fathers care about the next generation and work hard to provide opportunities for their success. They know the meaning of the word "sacrifice". As fathers, they do their part to protect the family from harm and provide necessary experiences, opportunities and resources to meet the needs of their children.

Fathers also model service to the community as well as in the home. They care about the physical and community environments that sustain family life. When children see fathers take a leadership role in caring for and serving others, it shows how service can extend to greater and greater circles of humanity.