Dr. Val FarmerDr.Val | |||
Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships | |||
Men And Women: Not Exactly From Mars Or VenusFebruary 24, 1997 Are men and women different? Of course they are. Are they the same? Of course they are. The important questions to ask about are how are they the same and how are they different? Some popular myths about differences need debunking. These myths are a disservice to both genders. Some differences between men and women are trivial. In social psychologist Carol Tavris's book, "The Mismeasure of Woman," she reviews research findings that contradict popular ideas about gender differences. These notions of differences were based on faulty research and overstated conclusions. Once a myth gets started, it enters popular folklore and is assumed to be true. Myths also serve a purpose in maintaining the status quo. See if you aren't a little surprised by the following:
There is one difference however. On average, women are better at "reading" men and interpreting male behavior than men are at reading women and interpreting female behavior. This is because females need to predict male behavior for their own security and safety. Take away the power difference and the sex gap fades. Both genders, when placed in a subordinate role, are more adept at reading emotional cues than the person with power in the relationship.
Women are not naturally less submissive and unaggressive. Studies show that under some conditions, they are less likely than men to behave aggressively. It is a matter of degree. The research suggesting that men have a justice-based morality while women have a care-based morality is also faulty.
Male dominance and violence are more likely in societies that are undergoing environmental stress. These include unreliable food supply, warfare, chronic hunger, rapid industrialization and the migration of males because of work or war.
The main difference between males and females on intimacy is that females have a greater need to express themselves about relationships and intimate ties. Men experience the same range of emotions as women.
According to researcher Moss Kantor, "Men with low opportunity look more like the stereotype of women in their orientation toward work... they limit their aspirations, seek satisfaction in activities outside of work, dream of escape, interrupt their careers, emphasize leisure and consumption, and create sociable peer groups in which interpersonal relationships take precedence over other aspects of work.
Tavris reminds us that thinking of ourselves as opposites doesn't serve either sex well. The myths of differences keep men and women apart and judgmental of one another. We are more similar than different. We have common goals and needs. We can combine our talents and outlooks so that relationships, work, children and our society can flourish. However, the differences are more interesting and fun to talk about. Ah yes? Vive la difference! Mars and Venus, get ready for a visit. |
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