How Dual Income Families Handle Stress

In the United States and Canada, a dual income family is the norm. Men and women have had to adjust their roles and expectations in the home as women have entered the workforce in unprecedented numbers.

The work place is changing. Work demands are increasing. Workers are expected to give longer and longer hours and participate in goals and management. Workers are expected take initiative, be loyal, involved and available. This makes home tempting as a place of refuge from work, a place to renew energy for work and a place to think and plan work.

How much work and effort is enough? The tensions and demands of the workplace have impact on home life and how parents cope. What are the limits of human enthusiasm and endurance? How long should the workday be? Sustained overloads can lead to demoralization and fatigue. Having satisfying childcare arrangements for infants and preschoolers is a major concern.

How can organizations help? Organizations can help most by providing flex time and leave time policies that support family life. Leave policies benefit women most as they are generally the primary caregivers. Supervisors sensitive to female employees and childcare issues provide welcome support.

Companies can downplay a workaholic culture that ignores family roles and concerns.

When employers and supervisors are supportive, this buffers stress and has an indirect but definite positive impact on marital satisfaction. When work demands are excessive and interfere with family life, the seeds are planted for marital dissatisfaction.

Social support, marital satisfaction and cooperation. Supportive friends and family also buffer emotional exhaustion and have a positive impact on marital satisfaction. A support network often wards off work related stress. An absence of support is a stress in itself.

Happy marriages lighten stress from heavy workloads at home, reduce conflict at home and keep family conflict from affecting job performance. Women are especially sensitive to marital strain and how it affects the quality of their marriage. A woman's ability to negotiate her relationship with her husband and work out solutions about family and work conflicts is crucial to reducing her stress and anxiety.

A wife's satisfaction with her husband's involvement in family tasks is important. The more time a father spends in childcare the better the family relationship. No matter how they divide childcare and family work, it makes a big difference if a wife believes she can enlist her husband’s help and draw on him as a resource. This gives her options or a backup.

According to a July 2007 Pew Research Center survey of American adults, "sharing household chores" now ranks third in importance on a list of nine items often associated with successful marriages – well ahead of such staples as adequate income, good housing, common interests and shared religious beliefs. Some 62% of adults say sharing household chores is very important to marital success.

Back in 1990, fewer than half (47%) of adults said sharing household chores was very important to a successful marriage. In the 17 years since then, no other item on the list has risen in importance nearly as much. There's virtually no difference of opinion between men and women as to how they felt about it.

Men and change. Job stress affects men more and adding other roles to the work role is stress producing. Men who are supportive to their wives want to be good fathers and are willing to share work in the home. They want closeness in their marriage and see their wife as an equal. They want to actively parent and share responsibility in the home.

Still, men at their best fall short of being the more supportive spouse in the home. Men with a traditional gender role background find it more difficult to provide the kind of support that will ease the burden of a working wife and mother.

Traditional men do well when they can make the shift and embrace their wife's work involvement. They don't label her working as a source of conflict. They show interest in her workday and work relationships. A supportive husband helps by letting go of cultural norms against women’s employment and reinforces his wife's need to lower her standards of housekeeping to realistic levels.

Stress and children. The number and ages of the children at home make a difference. Preschoolers, budding adolescents and teens cause more concern. Satisfaction with the quality of childcare arrangements is a major factor in lessening stress.

For a mother, the quality of her relationship with her children is a significant factor in psychological comfort or distress. Stress stemming from the mothers' role is more significant than job-related stress.

What are the short cut answers to handling a dual income family?

- Have understanding and flexible employers and supervisors.

- Have social support from friends and family.

- Have a close and supportive marriage.

- Have a cooperative family that share responsibilities and household tasks.

- Have satisfactory child relationships and good childcare arrangements.

- Make family life a priority and protect it from work related stress and intrusions.

Balancing home and work takes commitment and priority. By making home your first priority, you’ll benefit both home life and your work.