Dr. Val FarmerDr.Val
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Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships

Why Fargo?

September 8, 1997

Our family is moving to Fargo. Why Fargo?

With last year's blizzards, floods, and the movie "Fargo" on people's minds, Fargo has a certain cachet in a perversely negative way. Obviously there are stories to tell and eager listeners. Through courtesy of The Weather Channel, everybody's fantasy of the winter from Hell dramatically became real.

It will be hard to leave the Black Hill’s "banana belt" weather. The wind and the bugs are not nearly as oppressive here as they are in other Midwestern locales.

So the weather is daunting. That is not the reason.

When people from other states visit the Black Hills, they are struck by an intimate beauty of hills, mountains, green forests and picturesque lakes and streams. The Black Hills are an island of beauty in an ocean of prairie and farmland.

For people in Rapid City and in Fargo-Moorhead alike the first question is not, "Why Fargo?" but, "Why leave the Black Hills?"

Natural beauty isn't the reason.

I'm from Montana. I've lived in South Dakota for 22 years and in Rapid City for 14 years. It feels like home. It is home. Nothing can take the place of the easy familiarity with the people and places of this state.

In many ways I have already identified with North Dakota and its people. Outside of the Black Hills, the geography and weather are similar and the people are warm and friendly. I can foresee how easy it will be for me to consider myself a son of the Dakotas. For me, the state boundary has become practically invisible.

However, excluding the urban congestion of just a few cities, I could be at home in most Midwestern communities and feel entirely comfortable with their good and hospitable people.

It's not the people.

Then what is it? Why move? North Dakota as a state and the Fargo/Moorhead region in particular has responded well to my message. I'll never forget the welcome I received at a public lecture I gave at the Fargo Theater. Eleven hundred people came out to get into an 800 capacity theater. It was overwhelming.

North Dakota and Minnesota newspapers have always shown great receptivity to my column. I have been trusted with precious newspaper space. My column has had enough continuity that a special dynamic has been created between me and the readers. I am leaving people I care about, but I am also going to a place where I feel I already have many friends.

It is a career move. I see the move as a professional opportunity to further my work with rural people. I'll have a half-time position with a healthcare organization that will allow me to specialize my clinical practice with rural families.

I can see a great need for mental health specialists and/or management consultants to address the issues of conflict in family farm businesses. Many families and family farms suffer because of a breakdown in communications from the complexity of working in a family business.

The guidelines and principles on how to manage a family business aren't well known. When things go wrong a mediator, educator or family counselor can be helpful in healing past hurts and finding better ways of working and communicating together and working out succession issues in a family business. That is one service I hope to provide.

A second area of focus is in counseling with couples on rural marriages and family problems. Farming is a unique occupation with a different set of demands and expectations. When farm couples seek help for their relationship problems, they want a counselor that is familiar with their lifestyle and business.

Based on the number of farm families, I believe there is a greater need for this type of specialized service in eastern North Dakota and northwestern Minnesota than there is in western South Dakota.

I have a need for increased professional stimulation. I am looking forward to working collaboratively with others who are intimately involved with farm families and share similar interests. Being in the same community with the faculty and extension service of a land grant university will give me that opportunity. Much of my work has been in isolation from other researchers and educators in this field.

I have made extensive use of the phone and meeting people at conferences. However, I am looking forward to ongoing relationships and dialogue with key colleagues - some of whom I already know and respect.

It isn't easy to shake the dice at this point in our lives. We will be giving up a lot and missing a lot. We are also moving a high school senior. His attitude of willingness to undergo this change has helped.

On the other hand, our ruts are getting pretty deep. This represents a new adventure and opportunity for personal and professional growth. Growth is painful and hard. Why Fargo? Because we need this just as much as the people we hope to meet and serve. One day we hope to look back and say, "Yes, that was a good thing we did!"