Finding Gold In The Golden Years

If you were to look for gold during the golden years, where would you look? What is it that brings us happiness and contentment in older years?

You don’t have to look far. The gold you are looking for is under your nose. It is all around you. It is within you. The gold is in how we use our time. The gold is in what we choose to give our precious gift of attention.

The gold you are looking for comes in various forms - different strands woven together in a tapestry of life. They are: 1) pursuing personal growth, 2) enjoying companionship, 3) taking pleasure with grandchildren, 4) investing in friendships and family connections, 5) being in the moment, 6) giving selfless service, and 7) remembering and recording.

Everyone is different. Each strand by itself can be incomplete and insufficient but together they unite in strength and beauty. The emphasis may vary but it is the combination that constitutes a well-lived life

- Pursuing personal growth and creativity. Recent research in neuropsychology shows that we form new brain cells and new neural patterns when we learn new things. Learning rewires our brain.

It is purpose that energizes us. We need to find purpose in our lives: ways of being needed and useful, ways of trying new things, and developing new talents. There is work left to be done to fulfill our mission or destiny on earth. For some, continuing to do what they have been doing represents pushing toward the completion of their life work and goals.

For others, the retirement years is an opportunity to change and be open to new possibilities. We focus. We simplify. There are costs, trade-offs and tension associated with selecting goals at the exclusion of others yet choose we must.

My brother-in-law is painting, something he hasn’t done since his high school days. My good friend is finding creative expression in his woodworking. We reset our creative clocks by starting something new.

We need to keep current on world events and continue to be in awe of the mysteries of life, the uncertainties, the unfolding novelty and to reflect on their meaning in life experiences.

- Enjoying companionship. For those who are still blessed to have their life companion, this is a time to deepen the marital bond through tender love and service, intimate communication and recreational companionship.

This is a time for developing compatible interests, working on joint projects, and having fun while sharing and giving compassionate service. It is a time for compromise and making sure that your partner’s and your needs are being taken into account.

This is a time of uniting after the stressors of family rearing and full time employment have been subtracted from daily life. The view from the mountain peak can be exhilarating but even more so when shared with a loved one. This is a time to make new memories by doing new and exciting things together.

- Taking pleasure with grandchildren. Beyond the natural delight of this relationship are opportunities for giving guidance, teaching skills, and giving unconditional love. Grandchildren profit from this relationship by learning about family heritage and values. Grandparents are in a unique position to give encouragement, attention and cushioning support.

Grandparents can share the stories of their lives to help give perspective on history - particularly family history - with the emotional and challenging milestones that helped shape character and destiny.

- Investing in friendships and family connections. The striving for knowledge and workplace productivity, in the long run, doesn’t replace the emotional support and closeness of relationships. Refocusing on relationships fulfills a deep social need humans share. Now is the time to allocate priority for enjoying friendships and deepening family bonds.

- Being in the moment. As one’s time horizons shorten, there is a disposition to savor the moment, to be fully engaged with all our senses, to lose oneself in time. Notice and appreciate sunsets, starlit nights, the infectious energy and joys of childhood, a dog’s affectionate greeting, a beautiful garden, or a tasty desert.

The pressures of life and a workday world promotes a future-oriented frame of reference centered around goal-seeking, striving and problem-solving. The challenge now is to learn to lose oneself in the moment.

- Giving selfless service. This is the sure path to happiness, even more so than learning and personal growth. This is a time to enlarge our capacity for love by looking for opportunities to give pure kindness and selfless service. There are many noble causes outside of self that draw from us our gifts and our compassion. Older age is when we have a chance to open our hearts and look around at those in need.

- Remembering and recording. If it isn’t written, it didn’t happen. We need to give meaning to all the scraps of paper and heirlooms with our personal life stories. We need to write and tell our own autobiographies. We need to compile the accounts of those who preceded us.

This will project our influence into the lives of succeeding generations yet unborn. No one can do this as well as ourselves and it is likely no one will. This is a legacy that will continue to bless the lives of our posterity as they seek to make sense of their own lives.

There is plenty of gold in the golden years - not to be found in leisure, passivity or inactivity but in understanding how important we are and can be in the lives of others.