Dr. Val FarmerDr.Val
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Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships

With Blessings Come Responsibilities

July 3, 2006

What do you think of a person who has enjoyed an asset and then fails to pay his or her debt? How we feel about our debts is a sign of our moral sensitivity. I don't mean to cast judgments on everyone. Some situations are unfortunate and the law provides for relief to give people a fresh start.

In accounting, assets plus liabilities equals net worth. If you have a lot and you don't owe a lot, then your net worth is positive. You have a lot and you owe a lot, then net worth is reduced.

It is possible to use that same equation to look at our moral obligations and duties. For example, substitute benefits or blessings for assets and obligations or responsibilities for liabilities. The equation reads blessings plus responsibilities equals net worth. Now apply the formula to various aspects of life beyond savings and debt.

Health: One benefit is our physical body. It is a marvelous, intricate, delicately balanced creation with self-healing and recuperative powers. With it we can see, hear, think, feel and touch. We can love, play, create and work. We don’t appreciate what a blessing a body is until we experience a loss of function or feel the pain when all is not well.

With such blessings, what are our obligations? Our bodies need proper rest, nourishment, exercise and stimulation. To have such a wonderful gift and abuse it is wrong. Our obligation is to abstain from ingesting harmful substances and take foolhardy risks which either reduces the capacity of the body to function or place it in harm's path.

Citizenship: We benefit from being citizens in a country where we enjoy unparalleled opportunity, justice and freedom. We enjoy a high standard of living, public works and relatively safe social order. We live in a democracy with protection from oppression and injustice. One needs to visit other countries to see how much we have and enjoy here.

The debt or responsibility we incur with citizenship is to be informed voters, obey laws and pay taxes. We can support its defense and care about the quality of life for ourselves and future generations.

Work: Work is a great blessing. For many, work is survival, a way of paying the bills and putting food on the table. Hopefully, it is more than that. Work is a creative outlet where our life takes on meaning and growth. Work is a way of contributing to the world. Whether work is just a paycheck or an immensely satisfying activity, it is a vital necessity. We are needed and we need to be needed.

What are our obligations regarding this benefit? We need to give an honest day's work for an honest day’s pay. We need to be honest and reliable. If we are in business for ourselves, we need to give honest value for the goods and services we provide.

Marriage and friendships: We enjoy great benefits in our relationships. Our spouse or friends give of themselves in many ways to make our life special. We enjoy love, affection, comfort, fidelity, support, encouragement, companionship, and honest communication. In marriage, we enjoy the benefits of cooperation in maintaining the home, cleaning, cooking, laundry and childcare.

When we take a lot more in a relationship than we give back, then our net worth is low. To build up our net worth, we need to meet needs and to generously give back. Then our moral "stock" rises in value.

Children. Children are a source of joy, love and meaning. The bonds are as deep as any in life. Adult children and grandchildren are a source of pleasure and ongoing connection that grows brighter and better as we age.

Our responsibility is to provide them with a loving and supportive home environment, train and educate them and to help them become moral human beings who function well in relationships and contribute to society.

Children in a family receive a lot more than they give. Yet they need to be taught to give back and to do their part for the family. The amount of love and material benefits parents give can never be repaid. Relationships are reciprocal, even in the family. Eventually there will be an opportunity for repayment. It is to offer love, attention and to look after parents’well-being in old age.

Relationship to God: Do we believe in a power greater than ourselves who watches over us and cares about our happiness? Do we believe in a God who sustains and blesses us? If we do, how do we get out of His debt?

If God does exist, and I have faith that He does, then not to acknowledge His hand in our lives would be gross ingratitude. As Christians, for example, we are taught to love God, love our neighbors and to keep His commandments. "This is my commandment, to love one another as I have loved you." That is the way to repay the debt. Other religions teach similar fundamentals.

Judging our moral worth: So how do we measure up? Are we in debt? To whom? How do we feel about those debts?

You pay for what you get. If you get, you should give. There are many bargains, shortcuts to happiness, something-for-nothing gimmicks and rip-off schemes out there. There is no free lunch. To increase our net or self worth, we need to honor our duties and responsibilities for the things we enjoy.