How Death Brings Life

What do we need to discover about life while we yet live? It is in our experience with death and dying that we come to understand the reality of life. Death brings life to the living. We become acquainted with our own mortality and that of those we love. Time is precious. People are precious.

In his book, "The Gulag Archipelago," Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn describes a train ride he took while being escorted as a prisoner in his native Russia. He had survived the horrors and inhumanity of prison camps. He had endured the deprivation of freedom and forced separation from his loved ones.

During his train ride he overheard the conversations of several fellow passengers - comments about domestic violence, a husband leaving a wife, a mother-in-law not getting along with her daughter-in-law, a story of neighbors quarreling, conflicts at the office. He wanted them to recognize their blessings of life in contrast to what he had witnessed in prison.

"Brothers! People! Why has life been given you?. .. If your back isn't broken, if your feet can walk, if both arm’s can bend, if both eyes can see, and if both ears can hear, then whom should you envy? And why? Our envy of others devours most all of us. Rub your eyes and purify your heart - and prize above all else in the world those who would love you and who would wish you well. Do not hurt them or scold them, and never part from any of them in anger; after all you simply do not know; it might be your last . . . and that is how you will be imprinted in their memory."

What were the passengers missing? What part of them had died? They were missing a basic ingredient to happiness. They were too wrapped up in their own needs, hurts and worries.

"The tragedy is not that a man dies, the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives."
-Albert Schweitzer

The reality of death brings life into perspective. It is through contrast that we understand things. When something precious is taken away, we understand its value. We do not have all eternity to meander around aimlessly in life. There is a finite time for each of us. The shadows of night inevitably bring to a close our long day in the sun.

On the other hand, we need to have faith and believe in a life after this one in order not to grasp too tightly to life and our own self-centered agenda. It is a paradox. We need clarity of purpose for our own lives and yet be willing to step aside from our path to serve and love others.

Theologian Martin Marty said, "It takes a sense of eternity to make one realize that there is time, time to be available and to create." An Algerian proverb echos this thought, "Live each day as if it were your last. Live each day as if it were an eternity."

What is our unfinished business? What is the legacy we want to leave? Realizing that time is short is no excuse for being lazy and giving up on life. We need to attend to the "creative" part of ourselves - the part that needs to learn, grow and express what is in us. In defining and pursuing worthwhile goals we remain alive while yet alive.

In a previous column I wrote of a remarkable woman who contemplated the remainder of her life once she was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. She thought of her family, her accomplishments, the things she had done and the things she hadn't done. In trying to decide how to focus her life and her energies with the time she had left, she came to the conclusion that there was one thing she hadn't done enough of in her life - service to others.

Sure her life had been filled with service to her family and friends - as is true with most of us. But she was talking about service to society, to community, to the less fortunate, to others in pain and need. This was what she thought had been missing.

To give unselfishly is to trust in eternity. It is by getting outside of ourselves, even when we are hurt and needy, that opens the door to true happiness. That is the "available" part of ourselves.

My sister has a cancer that can't be stopped. She has mastered the art of loving throughout her life. I have been the recipient of that love. In the midst of her travail, her heart continues to be with others. She doesn't need this poetic prayer but others might.

Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
Oh, divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For its in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.